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Only conscious when asleep
Alarm signals inactive mind
Thoughts and feelings all held captive
All is lost and wandering blind
Walking backwards on a tightrope
A breeze fells the house of cards
Bearing weight of stone cathedrals
Glass becomes a thousand shards
Wise Solomon trapped in folly
Humble Moses ensnared by pride
Godly David found unfaithful
Immortal Adam knew and died

Two tornadic minds in motion
Sensations thrown into reverse
Sparks and signals in the crossfire
Tightly held confusion-curse
All of life spins in a circle
Fiercely winding turning top
Grinding gears unoiled machinery
Breathless rollercoaster drop
Chosen Jacob known deceiver
Unwilling Tamar sent away
Lying spirits sent from heaven
Virgin daughters proposed as prey

Waken mind that sleeps while watching
Too much rubble obscures the view
Violent memories left abandoned
Troubled waters demand their due
Strong connections in the circuits
Wires frayed with overuse
Pathways are not prison shackles
Iron fetters can come loose
Mighty Samson strong in weakness
King Manasseh bowed in chains
Three faithful men withstood fire
A crucified man lives and reigns

To the extent possible under law, J has waived all copyright and related or neighboring rights to this work. This work is published from: United States.

David and Psalm 25

Often when I read the Bible, I forget that the people I am reading about really lived. They had the same physical experiences we have: they perspired when they were hot, shivered when they were cold; to stay alive they had to sleep, eat, and breathe. No duh, right? They also experienced the same emotional and spiritual struggles we wrestle with today. Tonight and several recent days I have found that I relate to the words of David in the 25th psalm.

Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions… (Psalm 25:7).

Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my distresses. Look upon my affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins (Psalm 25:16–18).

David went through so many trials in his life and time and time again he cried out to God. In this way I want to strive to be more like David.

Scripture quoted from the King James Version of the Bible. The KJV is public domain in the United States. See version information here: https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/King-James-Version-KJV-Bible/#vinfo.

Seeds

I have been thinking about seeds a lot lately. It's fascinating how something so small and simple looking (on the outside) can grow into something so different in form and size and color. Think about an oak tree starting out as a tiny little acorn! Wildlife cameraman and photographer Neil Bromhall captured the beginning of this transformation in his video of an acorn seedling sprouting into a baby oak: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZK4LjURtaDw&feature=related.

Also fascinating to think about, several environmental conditions must be met for the seed to grow. If the soil temperature is too hot or too cold, growth is unlikely. If the seed is buried too shallow or too deep, growth is unlikely. If the seed receives too much water or not enough, growth is unlikely. But seeds are well designed. Generally speaking, the life of a seed is safely held within a protective structure, the seed coat. Ideally, the seed coat protects the "unborn plant" from harm and only allows good things to enter.

As essential as this protective layer is, it must be broken for the seed to grow and flourish once the right environmental conditions have been met. If the seed coat does not give way to the growing life inside, the plant will die, or at the very least its growth will be impaired.

1 Cor 15:37—And what you sow is not the body that is to be, but a bare kernel….

We don't bury a seed in the ground expecting a giant seed to sprout. We bury a seed expecting something different to break through the ground; we expect a vegetable or a tree or a flower to sprout. What we are in the beginning is not what we are intended to be in the end.

I am now in an environment conducive to growth. God, please help me to trust in You and to allow life to break through the seed coat.

Scripture quotations are from the ESV* Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version*), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

In the acknowledgment above, fair use constitutes permission. See https://www.crossway.org/support/esv-bible-permissions/ for information on copyright and permissions.

Symptoms of PTSD: Avoidance (Part 3)

All quotes below are from the following Open Access sources and are solely intended for the education of the reader:

1. Norrholm, S. D., & Jovanovic, T. (2010). Tailoring therapeutic strategies for treating posttraumatic stress disorder symptom clusters. Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment, 6, 517–532.
2. Brousse, G., Arnaud, B., Roger, J. D., Geneste, J., Bourguet, D., Zaplana, F., … Jehel, L. 2011. Management of Traumatic Events: Influence of Emotion-Centered Coping Strategies on the Occurrence of Dissociation and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment, 7, 127–133.

As described by Friedman [2006], exposure to a traumatic event … can produce a robust emotional response…, and this association can lead to PTSD avoidance symptoms…. (1)

Emotion-centered coping is an attempt to manage the emotional responses induced by the situation…. Numerous strategies belong to this category, including substance abuse, physical activity, expression of emotions, feeling of responsibility, minimization of the event, alteration, denial or avoidance of reality, hoping for a miracle, and use of the imagination. Among all these emotional behaviors, avoidance of the event seems to particularly influence evolution to PTSD, suggesting that emotion-centered strategies (avoidance, flight, denial, or self-accusation) may lead to more negative outcomes after a traumatic event…. (2)

One of the earliest theories proposed to explain avoidance behavior is Mowrer's 2-factor theory [Mowrer, 1960; Levis, 1981], which posits that escape of a fear-conditioned stimulus negatively reinforces avoidance behavior, thereby maintaining fear responses. Applied to PTSD, this theory suggests that avoidance of reminders of the trauma can maintain the disorder by preventing extinction of the original fear associations. (1)

One problem with avoidance is that it keeps you stuck. I think a lot of us construct walls of sorts to keep out the things we'd rather not see, hear, or think about. Certainly avoidance does have its place in preserving our safety and well-being, but when avoidance becomes crippling it is not healthy. And, evidently, scientific inquiry has led us to the conclusion that avoidance of (perceived) fearful things only strengthens the fear association in our brains. I don't know that there is a way to shut off the fear. But I do know that avoidance is only one way to handle it. Several other options exist. I know I have not explored those options enough. I am slowly getting there.

If you struggle with avoidance as well, please be assured that there are other methods of coping. Help is out there. We need to peek over the wall long enough to spot it.

Symptoms of PTSD: Avoidance (Part 2)

I have been reading the second edition of Coping With Trauma: Hope Through Understanding by Jon G. Allen, PhD, sporadically for the past 2 years. He discusses the topic avoidance a lot in this book. Before you even make it to the double-digit page numbers, he has pretty well defined the role of avoidance in PTSD. He describes it as a primary symptom, saying that anyone who has experienced trauma will likely avoid any reminders of the event. Even thinking about the trauma can trigger overwhelmingly unpleasant emotions. And although avoidance is a natural coping strategy, it can ultimately keep you stuck. To move forward, it is vital to think about the trauma rather than to avoid it.

One recent afternoon, probably as I was trying to avoid other trains of thought, I was thinking, Well, yes, it's true that I avoid things I shouldn't. But there are things that I should avoid. What are those things? I delved into the book of Proverbs and found some very sound advice from King Solomon.

• Avoid sin.
• Prov 4:14–15—Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men. Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away.
• Prov 22:3—A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.
• Avoid certain types of people, especially in certain situations.
• Prov 14:7—Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge.
• Prov 20:19—He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.
• Prov 22:24–25—Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare for thy soul.
• Prov 23:20–21—Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh: For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags.

Note that Solomon's advice is for our own good: to keep us from foolishness, to keep our secrets safe, to keep our souls, and to keep us from poverty.

Several of Solomon's ancestors fled people and situations when avoidance was the best action to take.

• Solomon's father David fled from King Saul in 1 Sam 19:10–12:

  And Saul sought to smite David event to the wall with the javelin; but he slipped away out of Saul's presence, and he smote the javelin into the wall: and David fled, and escaped that night. Saul also sent messengers unto David's house, to watch him, and to slay him in the morning: and Michal David's wife told him, saying, If thou savest not thy life tonight, tomorrow thou shalt be slain. So Michal let David down through a window: and he went, and fled, and escaped.

• Joseph fled his master Potiphar's wife in Gen 39:7–12:

  And it came to pass after these things, that his master's wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me. But he refused, and said unto his master's wife, Behold, my master wotteth not what is with me in the house, and he hath committed all that he hath to my hand; There is none greater in this house than I; neither hath he kept back any thing from me but thee, because thou art his wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God? And it came to pass, as she spake to Joseph day by day, that he hearkened not unto her, to lie by her, or to be with her. And it came to pass about this time, that Joseph went into the house to do his business; and there was none of the men of the house there within. And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out.

• Joseph's father Jacob fled his own father-in-law in Gen 31:3–7, 20–21:

  And the Lord said unto Jacob, Return unto the land of thy fathers, and to thy kindred; and I will be with thee. And Jacob sent and called Rachel and Leah to the field unto his flock, And said unto them, I see your father's countenance, that it is not toward me as before; but the God of my father hath been with me. And ye know that with all my power I have served your father. And your father hath deceived me, and changed my wages ten times; but God suffered him not to hurt me.… And Jacob stole away unawares to Laban the Syrian, in that he told him not that he fled. So he fled with all that he had; and he rose up and passed over the river, and set his face toward the mount of Gilead.

In a first therapy session with a healthcare professional, one of the first questions asked to someone who has been abused is, “Are you in a safe living situation?” To heal and cope, you need to be in a situation conducive to healing and coping (speaking from personal and unfortunate experience). If someone is threatening your life, forcing or coercing you into a sexual relationship, or otherwise taking advantage of you, you have the support of this lowly blogger, hundreds of healthcare professionals, and the Almighty God to leave that situation.

Yes, avoidant behavior is a major symptom of PTSD, but it often has to be the first step on the road to recovery.

More on avoidance (the bad kind) soon …

Scripture quoted from the King James Version of the Bible. The KJV is public domain in the United States. See version information here: https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/King-James-Version-KJV-Bible/#vinfo.