Sometimes I get stuck…. OK, a lot of times I get stuck. Especially when it comes to emotions. I get stuck feeling anxious, sad, scared, or numb. Right now I'm picturing myself in a large(ish) automobile, traveling down a dusty road somewhere in the Outback. Not sure why I'm in Australia, but I am. My tires are whipping up dust clouds and kicking up clods of dry mud and chunks of gravel. It's not a smooth ride, but I'm moving along fine enough. Then, in the amount of time it takes for me to blink, KERTHUNK! My tires have gotten themselves stuck in a giant rut. About 2 minutes later, it's dark outside and I am all alone with my stuck little self in this stuck large(ish) car, and I have no idea how to get out of this predicament.
This current rut is a fear rut. A few weeks ago, I had a casual conversation with a friend that triggered a whole lot of fear. I panicked. I made some poor and frantic decisions. And I ratted myself out to my therapist. She suggested we use the experience as a target for EMDR. (Feel free to Google “EMDR.” It is actually pretty cool.) Even though I have made some pretty substantial progress with EMDR before, I am scared. I am scared because the target is a scary thing for me, and I am scared because I have experienced overwhelming emotions during EMDR in the past.
About 6 months ago, my therapist responded to a rambling email from me. The subject line of that email was “Stuck.” She said,
Just keep moving. The scary won't hurt you, as much as it seems it can. You are OK even when you don't feel that way.
Psalm 56:3 “When I am afraid, I will trust you.”
Keep your mind focused on our God who is faithful, good, and ever present in times of trouble.
Half a year later, I find myself in a similar emotional state. Stuck in scared mode, anticipating tomorrow when we begin another course of EMDR. This time, I am making the words of Psalm 56:3 my own: On my scared days, I will trust God. He is able to help me through.
Scripture quoted in the image above taken from the World English Bible. The World English Bible is in the Public Domain. That means that it is not copyrighted. See copyright information here: https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/World-English-Bible-WEB/#copy.