This “Dismissive-Avoidant” in Relation to God

I dismiss my holy Father in heaven. I dismiss His mercy and grace and forgiveness. I dismiss His strength and power and might. I dismiss His wisdom and knowledge and understanding. I dismiss His precious Son who He sent to this earth to live a life of servitude and to ultimately die on the cross for all our sins. I dismiss the Holy Spirit who God sent to dwell within those who believe in Him and His Son.

I avoid my holy Father in heaven. I avoid Him when guilt and shame overwhelm me. I avoid Him when I am tempted and caught in sin. I avoid Him when I am afraid and don't know what to do. I avoid contemplating His Son's sacrifice. I avoid the idea that the Holy Spirit lives within me.

I depend on myself, my own resolve and strength and mind, rather than crying out to God for help. But I am through. I have no more to give in this fight. I am tired of feeling hopeless, afraid, and alone. I need my God and Father in my life.

Once again, Father, I spent several hours of the past few days in sin. You know this but I want to confess my sin to You. You know how I hate it yet am drawn to it. You know how I try to run from it yet I keep returning to it. You know the pangs of guilt I experience near the end of my sin and the wave of shame that washes over me. I am dirty, weak, and lost, Lord God. Please help me to receive and accept Your mercy, grace, and forgiveness; to lean on Your strength, power, and might; to seek counsel in Your wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. Help me to accept that Your Son died for the sins of us all, including my own, and to think often on His sacrifice and what it means for me. Help me to accept and allow the influence of the Holy Spirit in my life. It is by the intercession of the Holy Spirit and through the name of Your Son that I am able to pray to You, Father. Amen.